Student loans have been looming over me for some years now.
I have not been able to find work in any field related to my degree or even as a graduate student. I deferred and deferred until I could defer
those loans no more. Freaking out, I still applied for job after job. There was
no hope in sight, and then one day I signed into Facebook. There was a position
at my favorite store open. I applied and really figured I had no hope because I
had no formal experience of any kind in a market/kitchen setting.
I am utterly disappointed that I will not be working within
school districts, libraries, archives or any other center for higher learning.
Education, research, books; they have been my passion and motivation for so
long. It is heart breaking to let go of a dream. I worked extremely hard to put
myself to school but the state of our public school system here in Michigan is
that there is no funding to put it simply. There are minimal schools with librarian/media tech
positions at all. There are an overabundance of qualified teachers and school personnel
without work. Education is not a priority in my State. Class sizes have
swollen, students learn foreign languages from computer programs instead of
instructors, disciplinary actions are more numerous and disgruntled voters are
no longer supporting schools with mileages. It is a sad state of affairs. Who knows, maybe
I am the disgruntled one, as a parent, voter, and as one of the millions of
college graduates without a job.
Ahhh, but I got the job; I am assisting a Master Cheese
Maker part time. It has been an awesome learning experience so far. I am excited to try out some
new things. Working part time will allow me to pay off my student debt and as
we all know, I love all things sustainable so learning about cheese, the
different kinds, making it, preserving it, cutting it, all of the above, is a
very cool thing to me.
This past week of training and working 4 days in a row has
been an eye opener. It has been a very long time since I was a working mother. I came home nightly to a trashed house. The
kids, the husband, the dogs, were all against me it seemed. The dogs tore into
things and made messes. The Boys, they ate and ate and ate all the food in the
house but did not bother to throw away their garbage. The Husband mostly slept,
but to be fair, he does work the midnight shift so that part was normal, but
in the moment it just felt wrong and like everyone was against me. I even dropped my Iphone and shattered the screen completely. It has just been a crazy way to start off this new adventure.
I have a new respect for working parents and I am unaware of
how they keep their households functioning. I get home at 3pm or 4pm and instantly
scoop up children to run them to football practice. No good meals were prepared
or eaten. I fell into the mold of grab something quick and feed it to your kids
that I have been so vehemently against. I don’t want to feed my children rushed meals on
the go. I do not want to send my husband off to work with his only choice being
a fast- food drive thru on his way out of town. Sacrificing our shared dinner family time at my house is not an option. That is not how I want to raise
my kids or live our lives. So today, I went off to the grocery store. I was on
a mission. I spent today, preparing the basic chopping and putting together of
meals that I can throw together on a work evening and feed my family quickly
but without sacrificing nutrition for convenience. My crock pot will get its
work out on my work days, that is for sure. Spaghetti night will change to a
work night and the sauce is already prepared waiting. I still need to put up more
corn and veggies for the winter but my freezer is looking good so far. Taco night, is also going to be a go to meal
for us. It is easy to brown the meat and seasoning and set it aside in the
freezer to just heat when ready.
Wish me luck in keeping it all together. I have moments when
it feels pretty overwhelming to be honest but someone has to pay back Uncle Sam
for my education and that someone is me, so part time work and sacrificing some
free time to prepare is hopefully what will get my family back on track.
: )
Shannon,
ReplyDeleteI hope you know how lucky you really are. I've been a working mom all of Cheyenne's life. Never had a "significant other" to take care of the necessary guy stuff around the house, either. Everything is on me... Cleaning, cooking, laundry, shopping, car, yard work, maintenance, repairs, problems and you name it, I have to take care of it. People never understand why I'm always so tired.
I've been out of work for a year now. With no sign of a job in my future that will support the two of us. I would love to retire but I was stupid enough to go back to school in my 50's thinking it would better our life, so now I'm 58 years old and in this economy, I doubt I'll ever find a job that will actually support us, much less pay off student loan debts. At this point, I'll consider us lucky if we don't end up homeless. I spent my whole life taking care of my children and doing the best I can to get by so there is no retirement in my future. If I could work part time just to pay my college loans, I would consider myself blessed.
I for sure consider myself blessed. I have been a lucky girl. My student loan debt though is more then the value and mortgage of my house so the crushing amount of it sometimes leaves me a bit panicky especially when jobs in my degree/field are non-existent. Of course you are tired, shoot I'm tired and I'm not doing it alone. I hope this economy turns around and things start to look up. Best Wishes to you my friend!
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